Halifax Pop Explosion

Joel Plaskett – La De Da
Al Tuck – 33 1/3
Matt Mays & El Torpedo

These hot new albums are my “blood on the tracks”.

I hear them all in each other. it's really cool.

Loose Lips

"am i going to have to sleep with him to get him to leave me alone!?!?"

that is what i said to a friend of mine earlier today while goofing around.

then i thought about how accurate it actually is, and i got pissed and cranky.

fuck.

Dear Halifax,

Yes, i have heard the news.
Please feel free to stop mentioning it to me.

i know this may appear to contradict my march 18 post, but it's a little different.

Parro Pay

Tonight was gordie's birthday party at ty's. I'm glad we went. First we drank coconut rum & ate a brownie (yum!). Then we walked to central halifax and found the party. Gordie quoted from the book of Hercules, and sang a song his pappy wrote called "Blue Moon of Kentucky".
Good times.

Home by the pumpkin hour and quite happy with the day.

Happy Birthday, Gordie, however old you are. (love, clara).

it's driving me nuts, because today (march 19th) is somebody's birthday and i can't remember whose...
ian?
leah?
wendy?

MIA: carl moroz where are you?

i've been staying up real late. much later than this.

Help Me Lift You Up

I am not entirely proud of my past. In the next breath, i will say i have no regrets about my life thus far, although i do feel badly about some of my behaviours, i have managed to escape with some semblance of dignity intact, and i have loving people around which is pretty lucky.

I got this dark twisted thing lurking in the past though, most of you know what i am talking about, and i just want to say to those of you who do: it's fucking hard when i cannot mention this topic. It's like if the words come out of my mouth, they are written in invisible ink and cannot be heard. It's like that name is a complex foreign language that nobody understands. I know that it was foolish of me to act the way I did, feel the way i did, treat you guys the way i did. But that is behind us now, and i can't pretend it never happened while being acutely aware every day of the impact that experience has had on my life.

if you love me, you have to understand this. poison is not my favorite topic of conversation, and i know you have all heard enough. but when you shut me down, i feel like an even bigger loser. i can't pretend that i have the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. i don't want it, those memories contribute to the me before you now.

it's late, i'm drunk. but i mean what i am saying, if anybody besides me can make sense of it. it has been a looooooonnnnnnnng year for me, a long few years, but the last twelve months are the ones that are freshest, and the ones that contain the most hope in recent memory.

ah fuck it.

Gather Round

i had a feeling things were coming to a head.

i automatically spread out to find my lovers. and there you all were. whew.

but...what does it all MEAN?

(speculation)

when you are in survival mode, your world is very small. it consists of you and everything else.

every move you make has a direct consequence on your life. every thought is a strategic thought, designed only to keep your head above the water long enough for you to come up with a better thought. it's hard to get ahead this way.

and like i mentioned, you have a narrow view of things. you are only concerned with staying alive for another moment, for prolonging what sometimes seems like your inevitable demise.

(i can see how this would make people crazy. how people think the radio is talking to them. of course it is, everything is about them if they are desperately trying not to loose their footing - because that is the only thing that matters.)

i digress, as usual.

actually, i've lost the point now anyway. which maybe was just a question:

if you think the radio is talking to you, are you crazy?

Accolades

Driving:

Joel Plaskett, La De Da
Non-Believer
Happen Now
Lying on a Beach
Paralyzed
Natural Disaster
Love This Town
Absentminded Melody

The Weakerthans, Reconstruction Site
Reconstruction Site
(Hospital Vespers)
(Manifest)
Plea from a Cat Named Virtute
Benediction
Our Retired Explorer (Dines With Michel Foucault in Paris, 1961)

Jill Barber, Oh Heart
measures & scales
A7th minor
nothing on me

Gabriel Minnikin {unreleased!}
Memory Man

Ashley Moffat
Benn Ross
Dusty
Mark Bragg

dawna.
mo.

damn right i'm a rocker, and a rock producer. you know it.

Thanks, guys.

C'mon Mr. Taxman

if i get a big fat cheque from the government, i'm going to england. on june 11th.

¿Dónde Está Mi Amor?

Shout out to Toni, who was perfect in every way.

(with the exception of probably being married, and living in a different country).

Toni!

Oh Heart

i was planning to buy a pack of smokes on my break. i even got to work early enough to get cashback. but i didn't get my break until 10pm, and the smoke shop was long closed.

so i hoped i wouldn't miss costa's.

and i didn't, but of course they were out of B&H gold. so it was over to Bearly's. i didn't want to leave once i got there, and they were reallllllllllly slow so i got to listen to music for a while. the joint was jumpin' and i wanted to get a pitcher of beer and get up and boogie. but i also wanted to see jill barber. so i zipped home.

changed my clothes.

everything fell apart at the doob down, but i was wound up from work, and i was looking forward to a stoned walk down barrington and a cool g&t to take the edge off. it was all part of the master plan. i was too late to pull it off with style though. as usual.

i had enough change for cover and $30 on my visa that was going to be my booze money. i was pretty psyched.

the bar was packed. i was too late for cover, which put a much better spin on things from where i was standing. jill barber sounded great. i got to hear about 240 seconds of her show, then there was applause. i saddled up to the bar and ordered a drink. and then i noticed everybody putting their coats on. oh great. it's over. i missed it. and i have a full drink. and there's dc over there. this rocks! all these people were buying cd's from the bartender. i decided to buy one on my visa.

that gin was a swifty, and now i am here listening to my new purchase. it was worth the walk.

i've been buying a lot of cd's lately. i love it. i wasn't into music for a long time. then we went to the ecma's. and we listened to the weakerthans a lot. and a lot of the family has been putting out. and i am soaking it up and having a blast.

i was pretty bummed that my night at the khyber didn't pan out. i miss the khyber. i like it in there. (usually). i have a big ole soft spot for the khyber, and i remembered on the walk home tonight, that under some of that paint are some handprints... left by some family on that mid-summer night that defies description. We are in that building. Sitting at the ironing board tables and school bus seats, spilling our drinks on ms. pacman, dancing in the crowd, sitting on the floor, hanging in the back corner, pouring our hearts out, rocking our tails off. blah blah blah.

this jill barber record is awesome. why haven't you bought it yet??

the plan was to hit the town like the old times: wed, thurs, fri, sat.
plans need to be loosely strung, because in my experience they rarely work out.
wednesday night was a last minute lapse of sanity, and it was great. mi hermana y yo caught the coveralls at reflections~ no cover, $2 drinks -- one has no choice but to order a double when drinks are so damned cheap!
thursday there was a halfhearted notion of going to see tyler messick at gus', but this old gal couldn't even hack the trip across town to watch tv, so i have yet again to experience the museum pieces.
jill barber while awesome as previously noted, was also pretty much a bust as also previously noted.
moffat's in town tomorrow, and for sure i'm going to check that out. i miss that girl.

and sunday oh sweet sunday, sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Help Me Make It Through The Night

I tried to give my shift away tonight.
Nobody wants it.
I was hoping against hope they would send me home real early so I can study AND rock n' roll tonight.

Then i got a message.

"will you come in early?"

Of course I will, I just spent $40 at shoppers. It will take 7 hours of work to pay for that.

Damn it.

This Is Me In Grade Nine

When cute guys come through the checkouts on a slow night, all hell breaks loose on the front end. Cashiers are calling each other up, we are oogling the guys reading magazines, and we have our eyes peeled wide for the one. Lots of the "ones" put in an appearance tonight, and the cashiers were like a gaggle of giddy school girls. It was fun.

I've had a crush on this one customer since waaaaaaaaay before i started working at the ASS, but since working there, i've managed to actually have a conversation with him. My heart goes pitter-patter when i see him shopping and i am always hoping that he will come through my lane (which he usually does). Life as a cashier is not that thrilling, so this is a big moment. Well, i gotta tell you, the last two times "my boyfriend" (that's what the other girls refer to him as now) has been in, he has gone through somebody ELSE'S checkout (i have not actually been on cash either of those times - it must be noted). He also seems to have slightly altered his shopping pattern, with a tendency to come in earlier in the evening... this is horrible, because then there is nothing to look forward to for the rest of the night.

So when i found out that he had been in tonight while i was on my break, and gone through Jezebel's lane, I was dismayed. I still had 3 hours of work left, and all hope for joy was lost.

That is, until i looked up and saw crush number two standing at the register. Woo hoo! I had a crush on this guy a couple of weeks ago for a few days, until i remembered that i had seen him go home with a woman (who i presumed to be his girlfriend). So tonight i was all calm cool and collected. And he happened to mention his roommate and refer to her as her. And not refer to her as his girlfriend. I took this as a good sign, dragged out the small talk as much as possible and ended the day as I began it; smiling and walking the slightest bit above the ground.

A New Name For Everything

I am having a love affair with The Weakerthans.

They are lovely lovers.

My yellow walls are perfect. Things are coming together.

TRY

Just try, just a little bit, to be the person you want to be. To do the things you want to do and stop doing the things you don't want to do.

Stop worrying about how you got here, what the future holds, and the fact that you are alone.

You are running out of time. There is nothing holding you back here except for YOU.

I am not sure how much clearer I can be about this. I'm getting fed up with you.

Stoke the Pyre

I cannot believe the venemous rage and disgust that have made themselves apparent in my mind.

Reconstruction Site

La de da.

I think too much. Let's just get on with it, shall we?

Bridget Skips Class to Stay Home & Study

9:00 am - alarm has been going off for some time and mo will be here any minute. better put the kettle on so i can lure her with coffee & cigs to bail on the gym.

9:20 am - love moira. she bailed on gym. however, is home sick with 2 sick kids. not good. am up now & kettle is boiling; best get down to studying.

9:35 am - well, better check email and read news while drinking coffee...

10:00 am - lots of coffee left, better have a quick game of zuma. if start to study at 11, have 4 solid hours of reading time. plenty.

10:30 am - maybe just one more game, will start studying at 11:30. still have 2 cups of coffee to drink anyway. can't be expected to study until brain has been jumpstarted. 11:30 study time. ok.

11:03 am - better eat something to help with focus on studying. going to toast bagel. coffee is cold. oh well, will drink it anyway.

11:06 am - YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!! totally forgot about leftover pizza!!! kicks bagel's asssss. warming up in oven now. must not forget it is in there. think i will have shower after breakfast, to kickstart studying. might be noon now. but still, that is 3 solid hours of studying. no problem.

11:41 am - okay, hopping in shower now.

12:21 pm - studying!

1:28 pm - one hour in, not going so well. studying in bed maybe not best idea, since i keep falling asleep then waking up and not knowing if it is day or night or what is going on. Am making hot chocolate now. wish i had cookies. hm. plan is falling apart.

2:35 pm - heading to school now, will study more there. exam at 4pm. completely unprepared. way to go, rockstar!!!

the sad truth

i've never asked a guy out. never.

off the top of my head though, i can think of three guys that have turned me down for a roll in the hay.

Vanessa said (laughing) "are you serious!?!? a guy turned down sex!?!? i've never met a guy who turned down sex!!!"

great.